So Cold
by TDBrigit
Summary: AU where Jack held as a human lab rat by a scientist. He hates his life and would rather be dead. But when he is brought to another home, how can he hate anything of it? Rated M for angst, dark and suicidal thoughts, and violence.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors note: Yay a new story! Alright, I'm going to post this chapter, and If I get one review, favorite or follow, I'll write another one and continue with this story, so if you like it, please tell me and I'll write more. Enjoy:)**

**So Cold Chapter 1**

**It's usually cold in the dark**

As I pace my cell for the fortieth time today, I wonder how many years I've been walking these same steps. I've been here for a long time, that's a fact. The ceiling dances in shades of gray when I look up and I get dizzy, so I sit down clumsily.

When I was brought here, I was thirteen, brown hair, brown eyes, life full of spirit. Now, my hair is white, my eyes are blue, and my thin, weak body barely sustains my life. Where I am? No idea. Who I am? No clue. What I am? Barely makes sense.  
I am a lab rat. A human being, but a lab rat nonetheless.  
There is a sign on my door that says: Jack Frost, but I'm not sure that it is my real name.

I've tried counting the days in these chambers, but my mind can only hold so much, and I've got nothing sharp to carve into the walls with. Then again, if I had something sharp, I'd already slid my wrists by now.  
If you haven't gotten it already, I'm not here by choice. I was taken here against my will. That is one of the only things I know for sure. That, and the fact that I'm alive, but I'd rather be dead.

My cell is like a box, but with a door. A door that rarely opens, and when it opens, I want it to close. Because the horror that I face everyday is never inside these walls. Despite the cold walls and floor, the cot of blankets that I sleep on and the fact that I always feel like drowning in here, this is my sanctuary.

How I got here, I'm not sure, I feel like I died and was reborn to live in this place, I have no memories whatsoever. I have no memories outside of this house that is. If it's because of too many shock treatments, I don't know.

The metal door opens and in comes the person I hate the most in the world, accompanied by two guards. I unceremoniously try to kick them but they grab my hands and almost drag me to the lab.

They make me lie down and shackle me down on the bench that I'm usually tested on. I would say that this bench is more comfortable than the bed I sleep in, but the nightmares that it brings are far worse than the ones I have while sleeping. These nightmares are real, and they never leave, not really. Because when I leave the room, the bench will be here the next day, with a promise of a new batch of horror. That is one thing I will never forget.

The guards leave and I'm left alone with the scientist. I should probably describe him to you, so you won't be in the dark on this. He his very tall, has white hair, like me, but his eyes are dark blue like the midnight sky. Almost black. He always wears a snow white jacket, like the ones you see the doctors wear, but his tools are far more brutal.

He begins talking, but my fear shuts him out. You'd think that after such a long time here, I'd have begun to be used to it, but the terror always renews itself when I see the sinister grin on his face as he draws out his syringes.

I always struggle against the bindings, but they're pulled too tight for me to gain any freedom. He pulls out a syringe and injects something into my bloodstream. For a few minutes it feels like fire coursing through my veins. I scream and wail, but to no avail.

The guards come again, and as they are undoing the bindings, I hear the scientist say something that puzzles me. "Soon, you'll be ready." I look at him, fear in my eyes. I try to ask him 'ready for what?' But my throat shuts down and then I scream again.

I keep on screaming until the door slams behind me and I am huddled into a small ball in the corner of my cell. Then I just cry until the tears stop coming. And suddenly, after the fire has gone out, I feel so cold.

As I fetch the blanket, the scientists voice echoes in my head.  
"Soon you'll be ready." And then I start screaming again.

**Yeah I know, pretty angsty, but it'll get better. I promise, and please if you have any suggestions on what to call the scientist other than the scientist, then I'm happy to hear you out. Thank you for reading;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Hey guys! so far I've gotten two follows and one review! That's a record for me in two days, usually I get a review or a follow every other month. But enough about me. I got an anonymous review today, and It's great, and I'd like to thank you whoever you are:) Enjoy this chapter**

**So Cold Chapter 2**

**Falling asleep is nice, when you're warm.**

I have been shivering for three days now, well it feels like three days anyway. The hooded sweater I was given a few months ago isn't much help. As I study my arm I can't help but notice a thin layer of something that suspiciously looks like frost, the kind that forms on car windows in the winter. I can't be that cold, can I?

I feel like there's a hole where my heart should be. Constant pain that makes me want to scream pounds in there, but I don't scream. I sit in the corner, legs drawn into my chest and hands hugging my knees. This is how I like to think.

The hatch on the metal door opens and a platter of food is slid in. My taste buds go on a strike as I try to eat the food without doubling over and vomiting. It really is awful.

In my silence I hear footsteps walking past the cell. I wonder if there ever was another person like me, tested on until they are a completely different person. I wonder if anyone ever slept in those exact blankets. I wonder if anyone has ever been this cold.

I fall asleep thinking of how I ended up here, how could I ever have let myself get captured for something like this.

I don't sleep well, but I don't have any nightmares, so that's an up. I wake up to the door opening and the guards come and pick me up. I try to pull my hands away, but they pick me up and carry/drag me towards the lab.

But they don't go into the lab, they make a right turn and suddenly, I'm in a place I've never seen before. The walls are white as always and it looks like a prep room for movie stars, it has a big bathtub in the middle, as well as a shelf loaded with bath oils and ointments, shampoos and soaps.  
Behind the bathtub is a hanger pole with a million different clothes on it. From jumpsuits to dress robes and everything in between.  
There is a desk with a mirror attached to it and on it are various tubes of make up, that I hope I won't have to use.

If I'm supposed to be here that is.

A group of people dressed in the same white clothes as the scientist enter the room and the guards leave. When one of them  
starts taking off my clothes, I jump back, startled. I haven't trusted people wearing white for a long time.

Four sets of hands grab my limbs so I can barely move as they take my clothes off. I'm forced into the bath tub and even sitting in the warm water, I still feel cold. Is that normal?

Come to think of it, nothing has ever been normal for me.

**Right, that's it for today. I will be updating soon. I have much more modivation for this story than the others, mostly because of the quick response I get for this, plus how angsty it is, I'm kind of only good at writing angst. But enough rambling. Thanks for reading, you would be very kind if you would review, follow or favourite, but you don't have to. I'll stop talking now.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: Hey, I'm here again:) I'd like to thank everyone that simply read, followed, reviewed and/or favorited this story. You people are awesome, and you are the reason for why I update so fast.**

**So Cold chapter 3**

**The Cold Surface**

I stand in the preparation room, white hair combed and damaged skin cleaned and polished like a diamond. I'm wearing a white suit and shoes, and I feel like my feet are trapped in a cage. It's funny to think about because I've been cooped up in a cage for years now, I should be used to the small space. Then again, I haven't worn shoes for all that time either, so it's explainable.

I feel out of place, like these people accidentally fitted me for this instead of someone else. This feels so wrong, but I've never actually felt right, so that doesn't really make sense. Nothing has ever made sense, ever.

Some of the women look me over and nod to each other, then one of them leaves the room and reenters with the scientist. I tense up. It's the first time I've been around him while not bound or held by something. I want to kill him, for what he's done to me, but I only clench my jaw and my fists as he speaks.

"Very good. He looks like a newly polished penny." He makes a gesture for me to turn, and I glare at him, before obeying. I don't want to get cast back into the cellar. When I turn back to his face. He's grinning so hard at me, I want to punch him in the face. But I can't.

"He's ready." He says and suddenly everything is chaos. People are clapping, shouting, patting each other on the backs. I stand there, looking around me, confused. A set of guards comes and grips my hands, and I think for a moment that I'm going back to the cellar. But we don't go there.

I think it's the scientist's office. It's different from this house, in all the rooms I've been in, the walls are either white or gray. Always cold. But this room has a somewhat warmth to it. Its colors make me feel warm, even though I'm not.

It is definitely his office, because when he enters, he sits down in the black chair behind the desk. The guards make me sit down, they still hold my hands as if I'm some master criminal and could vanish at any moment. I wouldn't even know where to go.

"So, now when you have been cleaned, you're free to go." I look up, eyes wide. That's it? I'm free to go? I can just walk out of here any time now. I go to stand up, but the guards grip my hands, and I think: Oh, there's more.  
A man enters the room. He's bald, wearing a black suit and shoes, and he has black shades that make him look mysterious.

The scientist stands up and takes the man's hand. "This is , he will take you anywhere you want in the world. Just say the word and you're there."  
I nod, strangely thinking of where I could go.

I stand up, and for once, no one stops me. I walk over to Mr. Wind and shake his hand. He nods at me and I nod at him. I suddenly remember I have to say something.

"Um, hi?" I say and suddenly realize that for all the time I've been here, I've never said a single word. Only cried and screamed and sobbed. I usually just say things in my mind, assuming everybody hears them.

And the next thing I know, we're driving away in a black BMW, a duffle bag next to me, stuffed with clothes. I look into it and look for my hoodie. And when I find it, I put it on over the suit. Despite all the action I've gotten to do today, I'm still cold.

**Okay, that's a wrap:=) thanks for reading, and for those lovely reviews, I appreciate them a lot. But you know, I'd appreciate a somewhat of a name(account name, sort of..) because I'd like to thank every reviewer personally(through PM's). I will update soon.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: Hello, sorry that it's been long, my mom's been working on the computer so I haven't been able to upload:/ but here it is chapter 4 enjoy:)**

**So Cold Chapter 4**

**Snow can sometimes be innocent, but it's always cold.**

When I stepped outside the bunker that had held me for so long, I felt so happy I wanted to scream. If I'm so happy, why do I feel like I'm being shipped off to my death.

The car ride is long and I start to drift off when there's nothing left to see in the landscape. Just empty acres and occasional trees.

I wake up in the same position that I fell asleep in, but now my fingers have curled into knuckles. My face is cold with sweat. My face is always cold nowadays, but this time, it feels like it's frozen. I must have had a nightmare. Huh, I don't even remember what it was.

The guards that sit at both my sides don't make any comment on how I slept, so I hope I didn't thrash too much. That would have been inconvenient. I don't get any glares, so I assume I'm good.

No one has said a word since I woke up, and I'm getting anxious. Usually, I like silence, but usually I'm alone in a square room with gray walls. So I decide to say something for a change.

"So, where are we heading?" I ask. No response except for Mr. Wind, who taps the dashboard and keeps driving in silence. We pull in on a gas station that seems pretty much deserted.

Mr Wind and the two guards step out. I go to walk out too, maybe to stretch my arms, but they slam the doors and before I can open them again, the lock is on. I frown at this and cross my hands. They're probably still pissed from that time when I kicked them in the knees and ran down the halls, heading for freedom. If it isn't obvious enough already, I got caught before I could even reach the door.

I didn't get food for a week after that incident. How I stayed alive for that long is still a mystery to me.

I start wondering what day it is? what month? What year? I have no idea where I am, when I am, or who I am.

When we leave the gas station, the guards are back by my sides, equally as talkative as , meaning: not at all.

After about two hours of driving in utter and maddening silence, we drive into a town. I don't catch the name, but try to focus on the surroundings. It's hard because one: The bulky men sitting beside me, and two: most of the town is covered in snow. I can barely decipher the small houses through all the layers of snow.

Suddenly we stop, and the guards prepare themselves for leaving. They put thick coats on and clamp tiny golden name tags onto their shirts. I can only see one of their names, the one on my left. When they are up and ready, I try not to smile at these ridiculous outfits. They both look like the abominable snowman, but with a hint of human flesh somewhere in between.

They close the doors behind them and when I go to look into my duffle bag for warmer clothes, I realize that we're driving away from them. I look back and see them enter a store called The North Pole Toy Shop. I wonder how it got that name.

**So, that's it and more to come:) Thanks for reading, reviewing, following or favoriting.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: sorry for the long update, My mom needs the computer all the time so I don't get much time on it.:/ but I still got a chapter up. Here it is enjoy:)**

**So Cold Chapter 5**

**Pounding on frozen water**

The guards are long gone and it surprises me that they wren't even guarding me. They were just getting a lift to wherever they were going.  
The car smooths across the road and I try to ask Mr. Wind where we're going. I strike out, a few times.

But then we reach a town. I see on a sign that it's name is Burgess. I get excited because apart from the gas station and the village where the guards got off, this is the first town we've been to.

I look around, kids playing, mothers walking with carriages, teenagers hanging out on cafes. I like this town.  
Mr. Wind makes a turn to the right and we enter a forest. I get disappointed for a moment, because I think we're leaving, driving away from it. But we're not. In a few minutes I spot a house, positioned next to a frozen lake. It's beautiful. We stop, and I instantly know this is my home.

It's a small lake house, wooden, with one door and eight small windows. Mr. Wind opens the door and I shoot in to explore it.

The house has five rooms. A kitchen, a bathroom, a bedroom and a living room. I notice there's only one bedroom and I turn to see that Mr. Wind isn't there. I go outside and see him entering the car. "Aren't you coming?" I shout at him, suddenly afraid of being alone.

He smiles, closes the car door and enters the house behind me. I walk to the kitchen checking if there's any food in the fridge. I laugh in my mind. It's a very stupid thing to think, why would there be food in the fridge?

My eyes wander off to the table and I spot a letter. I pick it up and read it. Not out loud, I have a hunch that Mr. Wind already knows what it says.

_Dear Boy_

_I am sorry you can not meet me in person for your first day, but I have serious business that I have to take care of. Mr. Wind is here for your every need. Anywhere you want to go, New York, China, North Pole, he'll get you there. _  
_If you don't know it already. Your name is Jack Frost. My name is not relevant, you will find out sooner or later. Enjoy your new living compartments. This house is yours to do whatever you please._

The letter ends, and I sigh. Nothing new to this, there's a question burning on my lips, but I don't want to ask, because I'm afraid that I don't like the answer.

What am I going to do now?

**Yep, you guys rule:) I can't thank you enough for all the feedback. This is a wonderful experience:) Thank you for reading, reviewing, following or favoriting. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: Hello, and sorry for the late update, I can't seem to stop reading now. Do you think reading can be addicting? Anyways, here's chapter 6 enjoy:)**

**So Cold Chapter 6**

**When snowflakes melt, they don't get any warmer.**

I've lived in the lake house for a few months now.  
So far, nothing has changed. I'm still always cold, no matter how many blankets I put over myself, I'm never warm.

It's weird to be here, especially after all my solitary time in my cell, I feel lonelier than ever. Sure, Mr. Wind is here, but he's more like a personal guard or a babysitter. Not a friend, but I don't think he's supposed to be. He's the guy that drives me around where ever I want to go. There actually is a jet just outside of town, if I want to explore, but I've only gone a few times, and that wasn't any fun.

Mr. Wind is always in the house when I fall asleep, and he's always there when I wake up. It's like he never sleeps. It's comforting sometimes to have him around, but he doesn't chat or even answer when I try to talk to him.  
Mr. Wind has never said a word to me. Not ever.

Sometimes I walk around town and try to make friends, but I don't know how. Everyone is always in a rush, like they have to be everywhere at the same time. No one ever notices me. It's like I'm invisible.

I'm lonely because even though Mr. Wind is there, he's not. Not really.  
I'm lonely because when I walk around this town that I live in, no one notices me.  
I'm lonely because for all the time I've been here, I haven't made one friend  
and I'm sad, because even though I'm free to do what I want, this life is not better than when I lived in the cellar. I'm free of physical pain, but the scars that have pierced themselves into my heart will never go away.

So, for this day, I want to go away. Far away. I set myself a goal that this month I will do whatever it takes to make a friend. Even though he lives on another planet.

"Mr. Wind?" I say quietly to the man sitting opposite of me while I push away my plate. He never eats when, not when I'm around anyways. Sometimes I wonder if he's even human.

He looks at me and I continue, knowing that I've gotten his attention.  
"Can we go somewhere today? Like somewhere far away, real far away." I plead, afraid he'll refuse. I'm always afraid of that when I ask for something. But he never says no, just silently obeys my every requests like they are his commands.

He nods and stands up. He eyes me with a look that says: Do we leave now or later? I stand up and walk out the door. I don't put on the shoes I came here in the first time. I never wore them again. Mr. Wind doesn't question it.

We step into the plane and I sit down in my seat. After a few minutes, we take off, flying into the sky, to a place where the opportunity of making a friend may be more than here.

The flight goes on for hours, I start to panic, thinking that we're just going around in circles, because the only thing I see are the clouds.

Finally we stop, and I step out to feel awfully warm. I haven't felt this warm in ages.

**Yeah, I could go on for hours with this chapter in particular, but I decided to stop there. That's a wrap:) Thanks for reading, reviewing, following or favoriting.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: Sorry for updating so late, I was having a little bit of trouble with this chapter:/ but it's here now so enjoy:)**

**So Cold Chapter 7**

**Does it snow in warm places too?**

We take a cab to the nearest town, but I don't meet any interesting people there so I walk around for an hour or two. We stop at a coffee shop and I get myself a pretzel.

"Mr. Wind?" I ask, and he looks at me. "Can you let me be alone, just for the rest of the day." He frowns, but I plead, so eventually, he sits down at a table with a news paper in hand and I'm free to wander off, as long as I'm back before dark.

I walk around town, aimlessly trying to find a place to just sit down and think. I try to talk to a few people, but they ignore me, like everyone does. I start to walk faster and faster and soon I'm running. I run as fast as I can, the tears are hurrying down my cheeks and I clench my eyes shut, desperately trying to stop them.

But then I bump into someone, and I fall on the hard pavement. Little round things scatter all around me and the person I bumped into becomes really mad.  
"You little shit!" He screams at me in anger, "look what you've done!" I follow his orders and look around me. The little round things, no, not round, they're oval, lie broken on the ground. I lift my hand that has been cracking one of these things. I look closer at it and then ask him.

"Are these eggs?"

"Damn right they are" He snarls at me and I notice his features, they're quite peculiar, and that it's his natural look I seriously doubt.

He's tall, bulky, tan and has tattoos all over his chest and arms. You can't help but notice them. He's wearing nothing but board shorts and slippers. His hair has a weird color to it, long in two ponytails starting at his shoulder. It's like a blueish gray, but I can't say much, since mine is  
white. His eyes are a warm green, like a meadow, but there's something very cold about them.

Most of the eggs are broken and I apologize, saying I'm sorry. He answers with: "You'd better be, you just ruined Easter!"

That puts me into a shock, because I've never ruined anything before. I've actually never done anything to anyone before, not counting that time when I kick the guards and tried to escape. I shudder at the thought and shake it off.

I follow him, trying to find a way to make up for this. Nothing comes to mind.  
"Did I really ruin Easter?" I ask hopefully, maybe this is just some sort of joke.

"Yes!" He spats at me. "Why are you following me?"  
"I want to help."  
"Well you can't, so leave."  
"Why can't I?"  
"Because you, you just can't okay?" He turns around to face me, and I see that he's getting really mad.  
"Okay" I say, disappointed. I really want to make up for this.

"Can I ask you one last thing?"  
"What?!"  
"What's your name?"  
"Why do you want to know?"  
"Just curious"  
"It's Aster"  
"Aster, Just that?"  
"No"  
"Well"  
"E. Aster Bunnymund"  
I chuckle  
"What's the E for?"  
"Go away."

**And that's a wrap everyone, You're all probably thinking: Oh, this is Blizzard of 68? Lame. But no this is not my interpretation of the Blizzard of 68, this is merely how they met. Thanks for reading, reviewing, following and favoriting:)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note: Hello everybody:) I'm sorry for the late update, but I was in London for a week, and I didn't have my computer with me, hence no writing. But after a lot of pondering, I decided to do it this way. Enjoy and please review:)**

**So Cold Chapter 8**

**Lying on the cold earth's floor**

I begin the day with a bagel. My stomach hasn't grown much these months and the same goes for my appetite, because it's still funny to eat something that's not either horrible or tasteless.

Wind flies me over to Australia because It's Easter Sunday and I asked Aster if I could help him with the eggs, since I accidentally broke them last year. He agreed, so here I am.

I've been going to Aster's place from time to time, seeking companionship and a friendly face to look at sometimes. Don't get me wrong, Aster isn't a very friendly guy, but he tolerates me and that's the least I could ask.

Aster is extra cranky today. I mean, he's always cranky but that's like him on a bad day times ten. I blame it on the huge snow storm that's coming tonight. In fact, freak weather occurrences have been happening lately. Snow in Australia. Who would have thought?

When he opens the door for me, he doesn't invite me in. There's two bags stuffed with his googies, like he calls them, behind him and he reaches for them and hands one to me.

We head off to hide the eggs and after a few minutes we split up to cover more ground. I head off to the north side of town and he to the south. We want to get this over with as soon as possible, to be able to get back into the warm space that is his house.

I'm hiding a few eggs in a bush, when I hear some noise in an alley somewhere behind me. Suddenly a woman starts wailing. I jerk and turn around to run into the alley, leaving my bag behind.

But when I get into the alley, the wailing woman stops, and I'm grabbed from behind. I get a punch to the stomach and my breath leaves me. My senses fill with nausea when I get tossed around like a rag doll, curling into myself as the blows continue. Then somebody searches my pockets, says something that sounds like an exclamation for my lack of money, and the beating stops.

I lie still in the snow, my blood pounding in my ears and my stomach taking flip-flops sideways. The last thing I see before I fall unconscious  
is the bag that I left by the bush to come and rescue the wailing woman.

I wake up in a hospital bed, where a nurse is taking my temperature.  
She's frowning and when I ask her why, she just shakes her head. "I don't understand this. Your temperature is very low, like seriously low."  
"I'm always cold" I tell her. "I'm used to it"  
"No" She says. "No, I mean, with a temperature this low, you should be dead."  
"Maybe I am dead" I reply and yawn.

She frowns again and walks out.

I don't get to get out of bed until a week later, and a week after that, I am allowed to leave the hospital. When I decide to go to Asters to see him, I realize that he hasn't come and visit me once in the time I've been here.

That bothers me, but not enough that I don't go to his house. Because I do and when I knock on the door, I am not at all prepared for the rage of the man that opens it.

**That's it, in case you didn't figure it out: the Blizzard of 68 everyone! Oh and if anyone can figure out where the ****_Jackgetsrobbed_**** scene is from, please tell me;) I love reviews, they are the fuel for my writing machine.**


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